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How to Stop Being Clingy In a Relationship

How to Stop Being Clingy In a Relationship

Many people tend to confuse closeness with neediness or clinginess. No one likes a clingy partner and it can be quite suffocating and overwhelming to be in such a relationship.

Clinginess is a dependency that often times aggravates to desparation, and this desparation can be very disastrous to a relationship.

Clinginess is caused by fear of abandonment, fear of being hurt again, lack of self esteem and self confidence or getting paranoid about what your partner is up to. Regardless of what contributes to your clingy behavior, it is important that you learn to overcome it and relate to your partner in healthier ways.

In this article, I am going to delve deeper into how you can overcome neediness.

Overcoming Clinginess In You Relationship To Get Things Back On Track

Emotional mindfulness

Emotional mindfulness is all about taking note of your feelings such as fear of loneliness and then trying to focus on that feeling without necessarily seeking contact. The idea is to try and understand how you feel instead of trying to avoid the feeling. This enables you to not only be able to express and familiarize yourself with your needs, but it also teaches you to be more tolerant.

Engage in positive self talk

Positive self talk entails dealing with self doubt and the insecurities that contribute to the negative self talk. It is important that you learn how to remain positive by avoiding negative thought patterns such as “I’m not capable of doing this”, or “I keep on failing no matter how much I try”, or “This is beyond my abilities”.

Positive self talk involves engaging in mantras such as “I know I can do this”, or “I will sail through this no matter what”.

Work on improving your self confidence

In order to overcome neediness, it is important that you learn to take responsibility of the various facets of your life, socialize and try out new things. It would really help to take on one responsibility at a time, and to probably begin with tasks that are less challenging so as to ensure that you’re progressing well or making good progress.

In addition, your confidence tends to develop once you are able to keep commitments to yourself without expecting to be reassured by your significant others.

Be true to yourself

Another crucial step in overcoming clinginess is taking notice of your clingy behavior, and how disastrous it is to your relationship. Being honest entails taking responsibility of how you feel without blaming your partner. Honesty is also about recognizing that being clingy does not amount to intimacy and love.

Distract yourself

Distracting yourself is a very useful tool of dealing with clinginess. For instance, if you feel the urge to constantly text your boyfriend or girlfriend regardless of whether they respond or not, or wanting to find out where they are all the time, it would really help to engage in something that will prevent you from engaging in unnecessary neediness.

You could engage in activities such as reading, yoga, meditation, hiking, or any other activity that will take your mind away from the clingy mind-set.

Seek therapy

a person having a counselling sessionSeeking help from a great therapist would help you to deal with the anxiety of been alone and to help you be more aware of how you are squeezing life out of your love and intimacy by being needy. Psychotherapy can also help you focus less on yourself and more on the source of your clinginess.

Learn to give your partner space

It is important that you learn to give your partner space because too much closeness can put a strain on your relationship. Giving your partner space helps to avoid feelings of been trapped and suffocation, which will eventually make him or her pull away from your life.

Parting Words

It is important to understand that a relationship with your partner is not the key source of your happiness. Contrary to what people tend to believe, happiness begins with you.

Happiness that comes from within is very important and it goes a long way in making your relaitonship better. In other words, you do not need to rely on your partner or relationship to be happy, but you can contribute to a happy relationship.

So, it is important that you make your life your happiness in order to be able to overcome clinginess.

The Reasons Men Fall Out of Love

The Reasons Men Fall Out of Love

a couple holding hands in loveMany couples across the world go through romantic breakups despite their initial desire for a long life together. Romantic breakups are unavoidable, and when they happen they tend to cause a lot of sadness, shame, anger, and a myriad of health problems such as depression, insomnia, or even broken heart syndrome.

Having said that, there are various reasons why people fall out of love, but I’m particularly interested in why men fall out of love. Well, there are many marital or relationship challenges that make men stop loving the woman they hoped to spend the rest of their life with, which include poor sexual relationship, misunderstandings, lack of loyalty, just to mention, but a few.

In this article, you are going to gain insights into some things that women do that cause men to fall out of love with them.

Tips on Why Men Fall Out of Love

Pretending to be something you are not

One sure way of pushing yourself out of a man’s heart is pretending to be a person you are not. Pretending to be intelligent, smarter or honest than you really are in order to please a man is never a good idea because things will not look good once he finds out that you have been lying to him. He is definitely going to be unhappy, and that relationship will not last.

Being Needy

Neediness is a turn off for many men, and unfortunately, it is a quality that most women display especially towards their men. It is important to note that neediness can wreak havoc on your romantic relationship, and it manifests itself as nagging, clinginess, self-centeredness, desperation, or talking too much. No man wants to be in a relationship with a needy woman because it can be very frustrating, and that will definitely make him pull away.

If you have identified neediness as a problem in your relationship or if your boyfriend has directly told you that you’re being too needy then our post on overcoming neediness in a relationship may help you.

Lack of respect

It is every man’s desire to have a woman who respects him regardless of his strengths and weaknesses. When a man feels that the woman in his life is not showing him the respect that he deserves, then he is likely to pull away. Some of the ways that women tend to disrespect their men include constant criticism, not listening to what their men have to say, failing to compliment and acknowledge good actions and hard work, and not showing them acceptance.

You stop taking care of your appearance

You will agree with me that most women are always very keen on their appearance during their initial stages of a relationship. Most women will often ensure that their hair is well done, that they have makeup on, or that they look physically attractive by exercising regularly and dressing appropriately for the man that they love.

However, as time progresses’, doing these things becomes less of a norm and it is at this point that men tend to pull away when they stop seeing what attracted them to a woman.

Materialism

There are various money problems that would make a man stop loving a woman. One of the problems is materialism, whereby a woman tends to value money over her relationship with the boyfriend or husband. It is important to note that materialism will definitely create unhappiness in your relationship, and if you push the man in your life to do things he cannot afford to do to an extent of going into debt, then he will not stay with you for too long.

Ignored or unmet needs

We all have certain needs that we always hope our spouses or partners will be able to fulfil. Well, men will fall out of love if they are in a relationship with a woman who is not able to fulfil or satisfy their needs. It is important to find out or take notice of the things that your man often desires and then try as much as possible to fulfil them. For instance, unfulfilled sexual desires could make your man pull away. Therefore, to avoid pushing your man away, it is imperative that you are keen on what he needs and doesn’t need. In other words, go out of your way to do what will make him satisfied.

Summary

There are many reasons why men end romantic relationships, but I hope the reasons that I have discussed above will help you gain insights on areas that you need to improve on in order to have a happy and long-lasting relationship with your man.